tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39122151906973637312024-02-08T06:01:30.698-08:00Joy in the NowAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-84103051408582378882014-10-15T19:10:00.003-07:002014-10-15T19:10:42.196-07:00The RulesI just finished up a video series on what I call "The Rules". These are rules that I have written and revised based on my personal relationship experience, research, and studying other successful men who have great relationships with women. I'm not interested in spreading out these videos for the sake of traffic or "hits". They're all below, one after another, for you to consume at your leisure. Just think of it like a Netflix TV show ;) All of the "episodes" are dumped on you at once. So without further ado, here they are.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Introduction and Rule 1</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/tNMGQwMe3bg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Rule 2</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i96phKWZT_U/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/i96phKWZT_U?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/v/i96phKWZT_U?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
<b>Rules 3 through 5</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/llrWIp2kyQo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Rule 6</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/dBDq68LvzYI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Rule 7</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9LdhezIFkyI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Rules 8 and 9</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/R0wngToGJRA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Final notes and general guidelines on having awesome relationships</b> (don't skip this vid; it's not just a summary).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/w_0WXC0bOmY/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/w_0WXC0bOmY?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/v/w_0WXC0bOmY?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
Also, for your reference, here's my latest version of the rules that I wrote:<br />
<br />
<b>The Rules</b><br />
<br />
0.) I revoke rule zero. After years of doing this, when I break the
rules it STILL fucks me up. There's just never a good reason for it.<br />
<br />
1.) Time spent together<br />
FB - Once a week.<br />
MLTR - Once a week. Maybe occasionally twice. If you're seeing her any
more often, then you're either not serious about being polyamorous or
you have far too much free time. Invest in yourself.<br />
LTR - However often you want, but make sure you dedicate plenty of time
to yourself! Have activities that let you interact with other women.
Don't let your LTR be your only source of affection/validation.<br />
<br />
2.) Communication<br />
FB - Sex ONLY. Ideally you want her initiating most of the time. If you find yourself chasing her too much, Next her.<br />
MLTR - You should communicate a little less often than she does, but
don't get in a habit of ignoring her too often (unless you Next her). DO
cut off threads of conversation that go on too long or enter into LTR
territory. If she doesn't get the hint, zero radio silence for a couple
days. Reconnect like nothing's wrong.<br />
LTR - However often but make sure there are times when you are unreachable (because of hobbies/work).<br />
<br />
3.) Sharing personal info<br />
FB - Don't answer personal questions, except where they effect her directly (STDs etc.). She is not your girlfriend!<br />
MLTR - When sharing personal info, do it in small doses. Always leave her hungering for more.<br />
LTR - Make sure you're constantly developing yourself, so that there's
always something new to share with her. Avoid being held accountable for
every aspect of your life.<br />
<br />
4.) Don't talk about the other women you're fucking, except abstractly
or via rich descriptions. No matter how cool she seems to be about
polyamory, don't talk about who else you're fucking (unless it's a
sexual fetish for her).<br />
<br />
5.) Non-sex time<br />
FB - Don't hang out with her outside of the bedroom. If you run into
her, treat her like you would any other woman. Onlookers should not be
able to tell that you're fucking her. No dates!<br />
MLTR - A "date" counts as time spent together, as pertains to rule 1.
Most dates should end in sex. If she withdraws sex (for no good reason),
Next her for at least a week. If she does it again, Next permanently.<br />
LTR - Make sure you keep fucking her regularly and often. If EITHER of you reduces the sex, Next her.<br />
<br />
6.) Frame - Maintain the same frame as when you met her. Every time you
change your frame because of her, you are giving away your power. If you
develop one-itis, Next and GFTOW. Here are some example frames:<br />
<br />
FB: "I'm a badboy who loves sex. The ONLY guarantee you'll get from me is tons of hot orgasms."<br />
MLTR: "I love women. They are amazing creatures. When I'm with you, I'm
with YOU. As long as you treat me well I will be very generous. But if
you EVER take me for granted or give me any bullshit, I will move on. I
will only be with you as long as it's immensely positive for BOTH OF
US."<br />
LTR: "I am the captain of this ship. I have a mission in life, and have
chosen for you to be the woman to support me. In exchange I promise our
lives together will be amazing. You know as well as I do that I can
easily meet an equally wonderful woman who'd enjoy this adventure with
me, so you'll have to prove to me every day that you are worth it. As
long as that's the case I will never take you for granted and I will
perform my manly duty to the fullest."<br />
<br />
Notice how each frame is incompatible with certain types of relationships. One, HAVE a frame. Two, STICK to it.<br />
<br />
7.) Monogamy<br />
FB - If she asks for monogamy, Next her. Do NOT upgrade to MLTR in this case; it is a steep and slippery slope.<br />
MLTR - If she demands monogamy, Next her. If she talks about it abstractly, deal with like you would a shit test.<br />
LTR - Monogamy must be clearly stated. Hold one another accountable for
the rules that are in place. This means that if you fuck up and she
calls you on it, you have to THANK her for it. Any other reaction
(arguing) will cause you to lose power and will hurt the relationship.<br />
<br />
8.) Fuck her good and hard. Hot sex is the most vital aspect of ANY
relationship with a woman. Many problems stem from lack of sex, and can
be resolved by good sex.<br />
<br />
9.) Make sure she's holding up her end of the relationship. "Put her to
do things for you" (cr. Franco). Make sure she's investing at least as
much into it as you do, preferably more. If she ever drops the ball,
next her.<br />
<br />
<br />
When selecting women:<br />
<br />
Sex drive - If her sex drive is low, do NOT get into MLTR or LTR. FB is
ok if you can accept seeing her only once or twice a month.<br />
<br />
Self esteem - if her self esteem is anything other than high, do NOT get
into an MLTR or LTR. FB is ok if you can deal with her emotions.<br />
<br />
Freaks are only suitable for FB. Materialistas (gold diggers) are OK for
MLTR as long as she knows you will never become her sugar daddy (ie.
she fucks you while dating other rich guys).<br />
<br />
These characteristics take a while to screen, so START at an FB
relationship and slowly upgrade your way to whatever level you're
ultimately looking for. DECIDE AHEAD OF TIME WHAT YOU WANT.<br />
<br />
If you're dating a woman who has a boyfriend and she Nexts him,
downgrade or Next her immediately. She WILL try to have you fill his
spot. Other than that, boyfriends don't matter at all. Married women
should only be FBs.<br />
<br />
<br />
In a relationship:<br />
<br />
- Have zero expectations of her. If you EVER feel disappointed, it's
because of your expectations. If she doesn't hold up her end of the
relationship, you don't get upset; you punish her or Next her.<br />
- Always remain positive. You can have bad moods, but don't let her see
them. Your duty is to LEAD the relationship in a positive direction. Her
job is to support you (via sex, cooking, etc.), NOT to coddle your
shitty emotions. If you need to unwind, get a beer with some guy
friends. Never ever act out of spite!! If you feel the desire to spite
her, ADMIT to it and then talk about it, then return to a positive
place.<br />
- Don't react emotionally. This means don't argue when you're angry. It
also means not to make hasty decisions because you feel happy (eg.
upgrading her for free after a mind-blowing sex session). Be aware of
your emotions; don't ignore them or block them out. Share your positive
emotions with her (via laughter, touching, genuine compliments, etc.).<br />
- Always be busy with things you enjoy and that matter to you. You love
your life and are choosing to allow her a place in it. Her being with
you should ENRICH her. <br />
- Always lead. It's OK to ask for or accept her suggestions. Don't get
lazy or complacent. Be the one to make difficult relationship choices.
It's OK to delegate decision-making power to her in certain areas (like
cooking). But she should always know that you're ultimately in charge.<br />
- Do not be fearful. Don't cling to her out of a fear of loss. Don't
make poor decisions because of fear. If you ever recognize that you feel
afraid, FORCE yourself to confront it (this may mean nexting her). Do
NOT be afraid of communication. Always talk open and honestly with her,
even if it may mean losing her.<br />
- Realize that at any moment you may lose her. The relationship should
always be positive for the both of you. If it's not then Next her. This
doesn't mean being emotionally detached. It means cherish every moment
that you are with her and make sure she feels that.<br />
- Don't look for her validation. Make sure you have enough priorities
and friends in your life that you feel validated. Give HER validation.
If you do this right, she will become addicted to it, and you can punish
her simply by removing affection. This is far more effective than
arguing, which actually rewards her.<br />
<br />
<br />
The rules can seem heavy-handed. But if you look at many if not most
relationships, they are full of drama and negativity. It is your duty as
the man to make your relationships incredible. A woman will naturally
test you. That is her nature! Embrace your masculinity and let it drive
you to ever better relationships and an ever happier life. Embrace
femininity, for if you weren't totally addicted to the beautiful and
intoxicating creatures that women are, you wouldn't be on this journey
in the first place.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-65590282823224402632014-10-09T10:28:00.000-07:002014-10-09T10:30:02.033-07:00ConnectingThis post is about connecting with women whether it's during an approach
or in a relationship, and can be used with friends as well (guys or
girls). This is a difficult skill to master for guys, and was for me,
due to our logical nature and our preference to see things in an
analytical, black-and-white manner. Connecting with another person is
about relating to them on an emotional level, and having a discussion
where what matters is the emotional content behind the words, rather
than the exact words themselves. We are all unique individuals, with
unique experiences. You will never be able to EXACTLY understand where a
person is coming from, but we are all human, and a lot of our feelings
and experiences are very similar. Oftentimes when you try to connect
with someone, they may at first feel like you're talking about something
different, or that you don't REALLY get them. You have to be willing to
speak with humility and the admission that you will never truly
understand their unique situation, BUT you must also speak with
leadership and authority, stating that you DO appreciate what they're
going through and that you can closely relate (being a fellow human
being).<br />
<br />
There are several "techniques" to connecting. The first
and easiest one is just to listen, but to do so without judgment. You'd
be surprised at how difficult it is to not judge someone. For example, I
consider myself emotionally balanced, so it can be hard for me to
listen to someone who suffers from depression or a similar ailment
without having the urge to say "just suck it up." I have a lot of things
I can offer up to them by way of advice or solutions, but frankly
that's an egotistical urge on my part. My desire to be right and to fix
things; to be logical. But that's not what they need. Listening is about
accepting that what they're saying is important to THEM, regardless of
how you feel about it or whether it even makes sense to you.<br />
<br />
But
don't mistake this for agreement. You don't have to agree with them. A
lot of guys, when listening to a woman, make the mistake of nodding
their heads like a bobble doll, pretending that everything she says
makes perfect sense. It won't and it doesn't have to. It's even OK to
tease her or to laugh (calibrated of course). The important thing you're
doing is giving her a venue to express herself. Most people are stuck
in their own heads and don't like to listen to others, so if she feels
you're genuinely interested and focused on her, it will drastically set
you apart from most other guys. Of course, if this is a woman you just
met, you don't want to listen to her whine about her annoying neighbors.
She hasn't earned that from you. But further below I'll discuss how to
segue these discussions into more meaningful areas that move your
connection forward.<br />
<br />
The next valuable tactic is to be able to
talk about YOUR feelings. I typically do this by telling a story. For
example if a woman is talking about some problem she has with a friend, I
will tell a story about a friend that I took issue with. The stories
won't be the same; they may be totally different situations. That's why
you have to tell the story in an emotional way. The facts of the story
don't matter. What matters is how you felt in the situation and how you
dealt with those feelings. You want to relate to her story on an
emotional level. If she feels hurt by a friend, then you tell a story
where you were hurt by a friend, even if the situations are very
different. But the key part where the connection happens is where you
sympathize with her and her feelings. "I know that your situation is
unique, but I know what it's like to be let down. You put your trust in
someone and they abuse it. But ya know, I realized that my friend didn't
really do it on purpose. And I've hurt lots of people myself. Sometimes
I just have to take a step back and realize that we all suck equally
*laugh*, and that it's OK. For example I may accidentally hurt you, but I
would care about how you feel and would hope you'd see past the surface
BS. Because that's what it is; just fluff. What matters is in here
*self point*." I hope you can see in in this particular example how I'm
directing the conversation where I'm setting up a relationship situation.<br />
<br />
And
that brings me to my next point. These connections shouldn't just be
open-ended bitchfests. They should have a direction and a purpose. If
it's a friend, you may be trying to teach them something or to help them
feel better. If it's a girlfriend, you may be trying to help her past the
problem so you can get back to a positive place quickly (rather than
ignoring her and letting her be upset the whole time you're with her).
If it's a woman you've just met, this is a good opportunity to not only
feel like she connects with you on a deeper level, but to let her know
what kind of man you are and to build compliance on her part. But in all
of these cases, you can't throw the purpose in their face in a logical
way, "yeah, everyone suffers, just get over it." Neither can you be too
direct about the purpose, "yeah your friend sucks, but I would never do
that," (= qualifying). You have to talk about how you FEEL, and express
your point indirectly by way of those feelings. If it's a new woman you're talking to, she should be able to get an impression of how you are by how
you express yourself, rather than from overt statements you make.<br />
<br />
The
connection goes both ways. Meaning when you tell something about
yourself or a story about you, it should be something you care about and
that you had thought about. Don't bring something up with the specific
purpose of illiciting values. It should be a somewhat cathartic
experience for you, and she (or he) should feel that as you talk.
However, try to do so in a positive way, portraying it as something you
experienced, learned from, and moved on. Because if it sounds like
you're still suffering, it won't help a friend feel better (unless
they're a truly miserable person; but you shouldn't be friends with
those) and it won't build attraction with a woman if she feels like you
have baggage (again, unless she's very LSE; next). This is your chance
to inspire the individual you're talking to, and to also move the
conversation in a meaningful and positive direction. As you can see by
my parenthesized items, this also is a good way to screen the
individual. Do they respond to negativity or positivity?<br />
<br />
You have
to calibrate and scale your level of sharing. Typically I start by
listening and sympathizing, then gradually I increase how much I talk.
If I do it right and and express the emotions that they're feeling,
they'll feel like I "get it". Plus, the more I talk, the more I can
guide the conversation where I want it to go. With a PU situation, I can
turn into a DHV story or a joke or an opportunity to KINO or whatever
(all 3!). With a friend I can turn into a learning moment to help them
move past there own issue. With a girlfriend, they'll cry and then they'll
feel good. And this is the hardest part of making a connection in a
seduction/relationship context. You ultimately want to be the leader,
while still being empathetic and expressive. That's a tough line to
walk. It means that you have to be more in control of your own feelings.
It means you've ALREADY thought about all your personal demons and
accepted them or even conquered them.<br />
<br />
It starts by understanding
yourself. Exploring every single aspect of your personality and your
life. Too often we like to ignore things and hope they just go away. For
example if we accidentally hurt a friend, we don't want to think about
it. We might throw up a couple of stupid defense mechanisms like "it
just happened" or "they had it coming" or whatever. But that doesn't
help you feel better. And there's no way you can tell that story later
without either sounding like a jerk or just sounding like someone who
doesn't deal with their issues. You have to do the hard work of facing
painful events in your life and choices you've made and coming to some
kind of closure. It's OK that you hurt someone, we all do it. And once
you accept it and learn from it, you can connect with someone who hasn't
yet resolved that issue within themselves. You can talk from a place of
authority and demonstrate to them that it is possible to move to a
positive place from a negative experience.<br />
<br />
As guys, when we talk
with women, we often shy away from negative talk. Most PU tactics
involve "fluffing away" this kind of stuff, or bulldozing through it, or
making a joke about it, or just escalating to overwhelm her emotions
with horniness. And there's nothing wrong with this. I'm NOT saying you
should encourage everyone to get deep with you. But neither should you
be scared about it. Embrace the opportunity to really connect with an
individual if the opportunity arises. And with a woman you've just met,
if you do get that opportunity, you can establish a powerful attraction
on her part. Of course just like with any other aspect of game, there's a
lot of trial and error involved. If you're not used to it, you'll fuck
it up at first. Either by listening too much (being a doormat), or by
talking too much, or being unable to lead the conversation into a
meaningful place, etc. But with practice, you'll become a natural at
expressing your feelings and appreciating them in others.<br />
<br />
And in
the end, it all comes down to helping YOU become a better you. Because
we all have baggage and demons hanging over us. And no matter how many
women you fuck and how much you go to the gym, or how busy you keep
yourself, they won't just go away. You can bury them, cover them up with
defensive mechanism (like narcissism or passive aggressiveness or
codependency or whatever) but they will always be there unless you let
them out into the open and battle them and defeat them. But that's what
it means to be a man, to fight the demons and kill them. And then show
off that carcass to others to show that it's possible to defeat it.
Emotions and feelings aren't exclusively in the domain of women. If
anything, you have to learn to have BETTER control over emotions than
most women, if you plan on being a masculine man and a leader of people.
Fight those fights and learn to win.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-23796048925995817542014-08-06T12:03:00.002-07:002014-08-06T12:03:23.726-07:00Reconciling Love and SeductionMost guys, chumps and rockstar seducers both, want to have love in their lives. They want to give love or receive love; often both. Chumps typically operate with a Disney fantasy of love: "I'll meet a special woman and we'll get married and be happy forever." Many players either fuck lots of chicks in order to fill that uneasy lack of love in their lives, or with the idea that eventually they'll "settle down" after they've fucked X number of women. But even players often believe that they have to some day cave to the culturally accepted definition of love (= monogamy). Even guys who practice polyamory tend to have a "primary" (the girl they "love") and then a bunch of fuck buddies or secondary women. This is often wrapped up with an M/W complex.<br /><br />The common concepts of what love is have been cooked into you since the day you were born by your family, TV, friends, and society at large. You have been exposed to the propaganda for SO LONG that these common ideals are assumed to be cosmic truths. But this is exactly the same as a person who has been trained to believe in God all their lives. For them it's an utter and complete truth that's beyond proof or logic. But the point I'm making is that everything you believe about love was programmed into you by other people. With a lot of time and hard work, it's possible to UNPROGRAM those ideas.<br /><br />I don't want to be in a mono relationship, ever. I don't want kids. I tried a monogamous relationship once for the experience of it. It was "nice", but not something I want to do again. There is literally nothing from my mono days that I feel I am missing now. In fact, I am happier, healthier, and have a much richer and diverse lifestyle (hobbies, missions, people, etc.). Every single time I've ever considered monogamy in my future, I've realized that I have no need or logical reason for it. It's entirely as a result of the programming I suffered, and those instincts are so deeply ingrained that they keep cropping up, telling me that something is wrong if I don't go with the flow.<br /><br />I'm not scarred; I have no lingering emotional issues that I'm suffering from (and I'm the first person to call myself out on my own bullshit). I don't hate women; I love them. I don't believe in "sluts" or "whores". I was telling a mutual friend about my most recent lay, and he made some comments about how she was "crazy" and has been with a lot of guys. I had to strongly resist laughing in his face over how irrelevant that was. I have fucked both "madonnas" and "whores", and there's zero difference between them other than a random assortment of coincidences that have made them who they are today. A couple slight differences in how my life went and I might still be a virgin today; that wouldn't make me a "better" person.<br /><br />I have a fuck-ton of love in my life. From my family, from my friends, and from the women I see. And I love all of them back. I have friends who hate each other, but I love each one individually, and they fully realize that their drama has zero effect on me. They've given up on feeling offended over who I spend my time with. I love every single woman I am with, even if it's for only one night. I don't act like an aloof asshole. I don't have anything to prove. I don't "fuck and dump" women in order to punish them as a gender or something. Whether I'm with a woman for only one night, or as an FB, or in a polyamorous relationship, I love them. I'm extremely affectionate and generous. But I don't cling to women at all. Clinginess does not = love. Clinginess is about insecurity, desperation, and a LACK of love. Men with lots of love have zero fear about losing any given woman.<br /><br />Love is something that you ARE. It's not something that you only have as long as someone is actively giving it to you. Likewise it's not something you have to constantly give out in order to prove to yourself that you have it. Guys who desperately seek love in the form of attention and sex (eg. narcissists), and guys who desperately throw it out for free (eg. co-dependents) both do so because they don't have it in their lives. I'm immensely positive and joyful towards the people in my life. People sometimes think I'm gay because of how over-the-top positive I am. Or if they're cynical people they may think I'm faking it to get something out of them. But the fact is that my life is an endless fountain of overflowing love. I now know intuitively that love is an infinite thing. I never have to worry about "losing" it, because it's literally impossible to do.<br /><br />So when it comes to women and relationships, I make choices that fit in with my life plan and optimize my happiness. I have no interest in doing what other people say is the "right thing." More often than not though, people accept me for who I am. I suffer very little drama, because women know that shit tests just plain don't work on me. If ever I feel even SLIGHTLY unhappy in my relationship with a woman, I Next her, instantly, pure and simple. There's no confusion or emotional turmoil or drama. When I advise guys to permanently Next a woman for a minor shit test, I'm not being glib. I'm being serious as fuck. If you're posting about a relationship issue online, then you're way past the point when you should have Nexted her.<br /><br />I hate reading main stream articles about love. They always talk about "challenges" and "compromise" and "accepting the bad with the good" and "working for the relationship" and all this other stupid bullshit. Basically they make the point that some amount of misery is required in order to be happy and to have love. That makes no sense to me. I challenge myself when I exercise. I challenge myself in the skills and hobbies and missions in my life. But love isn't a muscle or a skill. It's a thing that simply exists. You just have to be completely open to it.<br /><br />Nearly every post I read about a guy's relationship with a woman invariably drips with fear. No matter how indifferent the guy tries to sound, you can hear the tremor in his words. "Yeah, I know I could Next her, but...." or "Well, everything is really great except...". These are guys who are scared. Scared that the woman (or women) they're with are the last ones they'll ever meet. And guys who clearly don't have loving relationships with people they aren't fucking (friends and family). If you start with zero love in your life, and then learn seduction skills, you are about 1% on the road to having a life full of love. If you have perfect relationship management skills, that's maybe 25%. Throw awesome social skills in their, that's another 25%. But unless you genuinely FEEL love for all the people in your life, and freely except it from everyone around you, you will never quite reach 100%. You will always feel like you're faking it, and like there's something lacking. And as long as you live so defensively, like you have to hide and protect what little love is in your heart, you will never allow more of it pour in.<br /><br />And that's what it is: Allowing love. You have to allow it in your life. It's not "beta". You're not being a "pussy". My friends all thing I'm a huge fucking badass, despite how positive and silly I can be. Allowing love in your life doesn't make you a weaker man. I've broken concrete with my hands. I have the skill to kill someone with my hands in a few seconds. I've badly injured people in my lifetime, both physically and emotionally. I know what it feels like and I have to accept that is a part of my history. I don't feel guilty about it though. I choose not to. And despite the many many mistakes I have made and will probably continue to make, I still feel I am 100% deserved of love. You have to honestly believe that you deserve it in order to have it.<br /><br />So stop worrying about what is the "right way" to live life and experience love. Stop making decisions based on fear and insecurity. Stop letting women dictate the parameters of your relationships. Stop thinking that love is only something that's experienced in the bedroom. Start believing that Love is ever-present and infinite. Start believing that you fully deserve it. Start believing that you can freely give it without ever running out. Open yourself fully to it. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-36153689972255855622014-05-12T16:11:00.002-07:002014-05-12T16:11:28.894-07:00Handling Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xbDq9t0qrmg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
I answer Vadim's question about how to handle your insecurity when the women you're dating see other guys.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-91423648385080735112014-04-08T06:49:00.000-07:002014-04-08T06:49:13.103-07:00Knowing and Expressing What You Want<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/h8ffTFd6g7Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Men suffer a lot of drama and unhappiness in their relationships by failing to understand and express what they really want!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-29607052344676205112014-03-15T21:21:00.000-07:002014-03-15T21:21:13.419-07:00How to deal with breakups (or impending breakups)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xMmFuJJ-JjM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
How to react when she dumps you, or you feel like she will soon. This video will help keep the attraction high and keep women in your life!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-45274320364966721122014-03-04T06:41:00.000-08:002014-03-04T06:41:18.801-08:00How to Express Boundaries in Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/O-HOrlVE0YE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
In order to have a relationship that makes you lastingly happy, it's important to communicate your boundaries! This video will help.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-74689953789934179662014-02-16T11:41:00.000-08:002014-03-04T06:43:13.012-08:00How to be Social<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GQXQxvJYlMc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Do you have trouble talking to strangers and meeting new people? Hopefully this video will help!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-8916318751996002242014-02-06T09:37:00.003-08:002014-03-04T06:42:54.631-08:00Getting Over Anger<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://i1.ytimg.com/vi/sgQ_T_nTlgE/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/sgQ_T_nTlgE?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/v/sgQ_T_nTlgE?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
Are you angry towards women? Is it hurting your interactions with them? Hopefully this video will help.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-90755048749680131572014-01-24T20:28:00.002-08:002014-01-24T20:28:18.094-08:00Expectations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q9ACeo1ypZg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
How Expectations will ruin your relationships and what you can do to get rid of them.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-59127305115487539242014-01-23T05:27:00.002-08:002014-01-23T05:27:33.113-08:00Be Your Manly Self<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/A0uyOCX3OUY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Don't be afraid to be a man!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-3744760353976017452013-12-30T11:21:00.002-08:002013-12-30T11:22:32.841-08:00Live for Yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/7o2dI_xw3F8/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7o2dI_xw3F8?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7o2dI_xw3F8?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<span style="color: #e06666;">Note:</span> The text below were my notes for the video, but I talk about some more stuff towards the end of the video.<br />
<br />
Hi guys. I hope your holidays were super fun and joyful! Mine were quiet and lazy, just the way I like them.<br />
<br />
The title of this video is "Live for Yourself". Before I get going, I want to point out that I'm not talking about being selfish or self-centered. I like being generous, and I love making others happy. However I couldn't do that until I became a joyful person myself. And that's the essence of what I want to talk about. You have strive to make yourself a happy person before you can make others happy. You have to provide for yourself before you can provide for others.<br />
<br />
The holidays are a convenient example. I saw a lot of people running around worrying about getting their "shopping" done on time. They were concerned about not getting gifts for all of the people in their lives. I realize that some people enjoy giving gifts, but most of the time when I hear about it, it sounds like a chore: Something they HAVE to do. And if they don't do it, they lose social status. So it's not about giving joy so much as meeting expectations.<br />
<br />
I don't participate in any of that. I like giving gifts, but only when I choose to. I prefer to give to people in meaningful ways. I do that by making my life as fulfilling as possible for me, and then making others a part of it. I pursue things that are fun and meaningful to me and invite others to participate in those things. People spend time with me because I enrich them and I make them feel good. They don't get mad when I don't get them stuff, because they don't have that kind of expectation from me.<br />
<br />
Some people feel like in order to meet people, they have to offer something. That might mean buying drinks or gifts. It might mean showing off your financial status with the suggestion that you would spend money on them in exchange for their affection. In Western Society, it's pretty much accepted that a man has to buy a woman chocolate, jewelry, perfume, etc. on her birthday, Valentines day, Christmas, and so on. Your value to a potential mate is reduced to how much you're willing to spend on her. Expressing "love" to a person means buying them something.<br />
<br />
If you subscribe to that notion though, you will live a life of expectations. That means either you'll meet an expectation, or you disappoint a person. You're not creating joy. You're just trying to avoid anger and resentment. And you rarely experience real happiness. That happiness comes from expressing yourself and your humanity. It comes from enriching your soul. It comes from trying new things, and learning, and doing the things you love and being with people who appreciate you and living life to the fullest.<br />
<br />
Before you start bringing other people into your life, you have to make yourself a person who is worth spending time with (beyond your wallet). Be someone who is fun and fascinating. Do that by discovering things that genuinely excite you. Make your own life joyful, and then others will want to be a part of it. Instead of chasing after people and trying to trick them or convince them to spend time with you, THEY will instead make the effort to be with YOU. You are a person who is worthy of love and happiness. Accept that. Make it true.<br />
<br />
I hope you have a lovely New Years. Mine is going to be full of fun and adventure. Till next year!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-48409285870741522732013-12-17T05:59:00.003-08:002013-12-17T05:59:36.450-08:00Kino: Touching Women<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/148mwzGsxu8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Kino is short for Kinesthetic Method, which is a style of seduction - or "game" - which focuses on building a woman's attraction for you via touch. For those in the seduction community, this should be familiar to you. Kino is also used a verb to mean touching women for the purpose of making them attracted and horny for you.<br /><br />A lot of guys when they first start learning to talk to women focus on what to SAY. They learn various stories and bits and "routines" that are supposed to make the guy seem more interesting and worth fucking. However, if all you do is TALK to women, then there is often little tension. Tension is what gets women excited about you. And your ability to remain emotionally balanced in the face of that tension is what makes women attracted to you. A man who is in control of his emotions, especially when there is tension, in this case social tension, is attractive. Kino is one way of creating that tension, while also making a woman horny for you, so that she will want to sleep with you. And for the Feminists out there I apologize, but the point of my videos is to help guys get laid. Building a lasting relationship comes afterwards.<br /><br />I used to be a really cocky guy... maybe I still am a bit.... but it used to be over the top. I had a style of arrogant humor, "Cocky Funny" as it's called in the community. These days though I'm nice and affectionate towards women. So what makes me different from your average guy who's nice? That difference is KINO. I touch women. I do so comfortably and confidently. From the first moment I approach a woman, I start touching her. This demonstrates to them that I'm a confident and SEXUAL guy. The way I touch them is the way a boyfriend would touch them. It makes them feel comfortable being with me while simultaneously creating sexy tension.<br /><br />For guys who are new to this, the idea of touching a woman they don't know can be terrifying. But there are lots of socially acceptable way to touch a woman that won't turn on a warning bell. And from there once you've established a connection you can continue to escalate your Kino. When you first meet a woman, you can introduce yourself with a handshake, letting your hand linger for an extra couple seconds. If it's across a table or something you can do a fist bump, like "yo". If you're in a noisy and crowded place, you can gently place your hand on her back or arm like you don't want to "accidentally" run into her. If you do this, make sure to have a big smile on your face. You don't want to be the creepy stone-faced guy rubbing up on chicks.<br /><br />Noisy environments are actually good. Maybe you can't hear each other too well, but that's OK. Your Kino is doing all the work. You're close to each other, arms and shoulders brushing. You're talking into her ear, your breath on her neck. It's very hot. The words exchanged are largely irrelevant. Just touch her with a smile on your face, then when you feel a spark, you can move her to a quieter location to get to know each other better. And just in any situation you're in, you can touch a woman to accentuate what you're saying. For example you can compliment her clothing and then touch her sleeve, and then leave your hand lingering on her wrist. Then once she has grown more comfortable with you, you can put your arm around her or hold her hand. Do this incognito so she's not as worried about what her friends might be thinking.<br /><br />Once you've established a rapport with her, you can get closer, touch her more, and get a more intimate. If that's a topic you're interested in, just post a comment and I'll make a video for it in the near future.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-61870572388191931922013-12-09T15:59:00.001-08:002013-12-09T15:59:48.129-08:00Everyone is Lonely<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/dnbCmX9gNzU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />We've all felt lonely in our lives. Some of us more often than others. We've all felt like people don't really "get" us. We've all felt frustrated because we thought, "if only this person knew where I was coming from, they'd understand..." This is accentuated in relationships, because when you're close to someone, you have an expectations that they should be able to appreciate you, the "real you". But the fact is they're not in your head, so they have no way of knowing how you think and feel at all times.<br /><br />If you recognize this fact, that everyone feels like this - lonely - and not just you, then you can learn to appreciate them a little more. The reason they don't "get you" is not because they're trying to hurt you. It's just because they don't KNOW you. And likewise you don't really know them. But you can act in a way that says, "listen, I don't really understand, but I'll accept that your thoughts and feeligs make sense to you." That's called humility.<br /><br />Some people think being humble means being "nice" all the time, putting other's feelings before your own. That's not it, if you constantly put others before you, you will eventually resent them, which is worse down the road. Because not only do they not get you now, but they don't see what you've done for them. They just think you're being yourself and they don't see the "sacrifice" you've made.<br /><br />Being humble means listening to and appreciating what a person says or does, even if it's not something that you would say or do in the same situation. You have to have boundaries of course. You have to have a line that they can't cross. But for me, there's very few things a person could say or do that would really hurt me. So short of that, I'm willing to listen. If they're angry, they probably feel justified for that anger. If they're yelling, maybe that's just the only way they've ever been able to get someone to listen to them.<br /><br />Don't judge people. They will judge you, but that doesn't matter. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard. If you want people to make the effort to know and appreciate you, then you have to start by offering that to them first. And that includes forming sexual relationships. You can't just demand sex and affection from a person because it's what you want. However, if you recognize that they need affection, sex, attention as much as you do and you offer that to them without demand or expectation, then you will both benefit.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-78298517841909821612013-12-02T19:44:00.002-08:002013-12-02T19:44:24.121-08:00How to Avoid Drama in Relationships<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/q0n5BhnIYBM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />After taking a little hiatus from making videos, here's one about how to minimize drama in your relationships with women. Leave comments and let me know what other topics you'd like to hear about!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-14763138030185464292013-09-28T17:06:00.002-07:002013-09-28T17:07:48.482-07:00How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GteBfcPP88s?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Oftentimes when we talk to people - when we try to meet women (or ladies trying to meet men) - we feel like we're pretending to be somebody else. I think that this develops naturally as we grow older. We develop different personae for ourselves: We have a work persona, a persona for our close friends, a persona for our acquaintances, a persona for strangers. It can feel a little schizophrenic that we have all these different personalities that we've developed for different avenues. In all those personalities we don't really feel like we're being ourselves (except maybe with our really close friends).<br />
<br />
It can be difficult to break down those habits and to acknowledge the fact that these people you're pretending to be are not really you. Let me give some examples. I enjoy playing tabletop games: Roleplaying, board games, etc. Some might think it's really nerdy, but I love talking about that stuff with everybody - women or other people. If that conversation comes up, I talk about it passionately. I'm not shy or embarrassed about it. I talk about it with excitement and with confidence. I make direct eye contact and I show clearly that it's something that's important to me that I enjoy. When I talk about one of my hobbies - like tabletop gaming - the person who's listening can't help but feel and share in that passion. It makes them feel more connected to me. Also they feel more comfortable talking about their passions, something they wouldn't normally reveal because they feel it's too personal or they didn't think I'd be into their unique hobby or interest.<br />
<br />
I talk about this to women too. A lot of guys feel that women don't want to know about their weird hobbies or dorky love of comic books or anime. But as long as you talk about it passionately with excitement and confidence, she's going to be attracted to you because you're a person with passions and things that matter to you. I've had plenty of women participate or watch me play tabletops games and we always have a lot of fun. When I talk about it I emphasize how it's really cool to connect with a group of people with a shared passion and to have a creative outlet. I express it in a way that explains all the positives that I get out of my hobby. In that way she can appreciate it more. Then they feel more comfortable talking about the things they enjoy, rather than putting on a persona when talking to someone they're not that comfortable with.<br />
<br />
In terms of being comfortable in your own skin, you can't be embarrassed or shy about the things that matter to you. You want to express them comfortably, confidently, and without embarrassment. Maybe some people won't be able to understand or won't be able to appreciate that. That's OK. Those are people that maybe don't have a place in your life. It's important to be able to tell if the person you're speaking with and that you could potentially have a friendship or relationship with is somebody who clicks with you. Personally I find that most people that I talk to, when I express myself genuinely and passionately and confidently, they accept it and in fact may develop an interest in it. Because if I'm talking about something I'm interested in, and I express all the awesome and exciting parts about it, it makes them think, "oh that sounds really cool; maybe I want to explore this."<br />
<br />
This can be true of anything: A sport, an artistic thing, any kind of hobby. Don't hide those things. They're what make you interesting. So when you meet someone - maybe for guys who struggle to talk with women - talk about what makes you excited. Talk about what DRIVES you. Don't fall on the boring banalities: Hi, what's your name, where are you from. Those are really boring. I'm sitting in a bar and there's a woman next to me, and you know how sometimes bars will be playing random movies in the background. Last time I was in a bar they were playing "Neverending Story", so I just started talking about that with the women I was with. We had a hilarious conversation about it. It's a kids' movie, but so what. I love Lion King and Aladdin and all those adorable movies, and I can recite lines. I used to be a kid and I used to love those movies. And I still do. That's not something for me to be embarrassed about. If I talk about my love of Disney movies, I'm 95% guaranteed that the woman I'm talking with is going to say, "Oh my God I love that movie too!" That's an instant easy connection.<br />
<br />
That's something you can bring up at any point. If you're talking to a new woman, there's something about her that will remind you of something like that. Maybe she's got an article of clothing that reminds you of an animal from a movie and you can talk about that. Then it will segway to all the things you liked as a kid, things you like now, and it just builds naturally. You shouldn't feel embarrassed about the kinds of things that pop in your head. Just express them, and if you click, fantastic. If you don't click, that's good to know too. You don't want to waste a lot of time trying to meet a woman who you don't get along with. The sooner you genuinely unleash yourself, the sooner you tell them what you're about - your passions, hobbies, interests, and all the things that drive you - the sooner you'll know whether you and this person click or not.<br />
<br />
That saves you a lot of time, and lets you feel more comfortable. It lets you enjoy those connections with people, because you have a conversation that matters to you, that you're excited about, and into. Then they can share their passions, and very soon you're having an actual intimate conversation. This is a great way to meet people: Just really talking about the things that drive you and that you're passionate about. Next time you're talking to someone, a stranger, and you're struggling to connect (you're talking about the weather or something really boring), look around, look at them, see if something in your surroundings (maybe something they say or something they're wearing) reminds you of something. As soon as it does just say, "hey, that reminds me of something kinda dorky, but I want to tell you about it, because it's something cool for me." Try it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-39162520703445807922013-09-22T13:06:00.002-07:002013-09-22T13:06:32.272-07:00For young people struggling to find their mission<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/rsH2aOzJj-0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Today's video is aimed towards young people who aren't feeling entirely fulfilled in their lives. These could be guys who have just gotten out of college and aren't sure what direction their lives are going. These could be people who are struggling to find some sort of career or direction or they're living with their parents. These could be folks who are still in college and aren't sure what's going to happen afterwards. Basically any one of you who is at a transitional point of your life. You're not really sure where youre life is going to go and you're struggling to find purpose and fulfillment in your life.<br />
<br />I know usually I talk about relationships and how to meet women, but I think it's important to talk about the reasons why guys pursue skills in meeting women. Often times it's because they're not feeling entirely fulfilled in their lives, and they feel that meeting women will give them a purpose and direction. It gives them attention and validation and helps them ignore the fact that they're not entirely fulfilled in their lives. But spending time with women, having sex , going out drinking with your friends: It's fun, but at the end of the day you'll still feel that there's something lacking. So that in itself is not the solution.<br />
<br />While you're still trying to figure out what your career might be, there's a lot of other ways to give yourself meaning in your life. What you need is a MISSION. Most people think the mission in life is their job and their family, but that's very basic and not even what we're all necessarily looking for. A mission is what gives you meaning, what you find important, what you give back to the world, your purpose in life. Most of us go to school, go to college, get a job, get a family, and we just go through what we're raised to believe is our function in life. We never really analyze it. We never think about what we want for ourselves. <br />If you're in that transitional period, where you're not sure where your life's going to go, you may be feeling unsatisfied with your life. You're thinking once I get that job or meet that special person, everything will be fine. But that's not necessarily the case, and who knows how long that will take. A mission can be a hobby: Maybe you enjoy creating art or music (I do photography) and you put out something that brings joy to other people. That can be a valuable mission; it's valuable for me.<br />
<br />A mission can be teaching. I'm a volunteer martial arts instructor; I've been doing that for over ten years. That gives me a great deal of fulfillment, and in terms of validation it gives me a large group of people who respect and appreciation me. It helps me feel fulfilled. For example if I meet women, since I have a large group of people who give me that validation, I don't require it from the women I meet. That's an important fact. If you're pursuing women because you don't have any real goals in life and you feel the woman will fill that void, it will put a lot of strain on the relationship. When you have that many expectations of one person, they're going to feel it. It's going to put a lot of strain because you expect all these things, you expect all your attention and validation to come from this one person. Everything you do is going to be wrapped up in this one person, and that's a quick recipe for a relationship that goes down hill. There'll be a lot of jealousy, resentment, and anger.<br />
<br />If you have a mission in life, a purpose, hobbies, friends, a community and you meet someone, you bring them into your life: a life that's already fulfilling. The way to do that is to start exploring yourself. When you're just out of college, or still in school, or living with your parents, or working a part time job, you have free time to explore yourself. Don't waste it watching TV or play video games and wishing something will fall in your lap. Instead, try different things, try everything. Try learning an instrument, try taking a class, try joining a group. Explore your community and surroundings. Reach out to everyone you know and see what they're involved in.<br />
<br />Your mission in life isn't just your job or person who lives in your house. Your purpose can be anything, but the only way you're going to find it is by exploring yourself, really examining yourself, and trying a lot of different things. Some of the things you try you won't be into. That's OK. You're going to expand yourself and develop a lot of new skills. You'll discover what's valuable for you. The point is that even if you're struggling to find a job or career, that doesn't mean you can't use your energy to explore a lot of different paths and avenues. Who knows, one of those hobbies or interests might turn into a career in the future. But even if it doesn't, it'll still give you a lot of fulfillment and purpose. Then when you meet people, women, you'll be able to bring them into an exciting life. You'll be an interesting person, you'll have a lot of motivations, you'll have a lot of purpose, you'll have a mission in life. That's attractive. That makes people want to be in your life, rather than being desperate and looking for somebody to fill a gap inside of you. You'll be bringing them to a rich fulfilling life, and that will bring them joy and bring you joy.<br />
<br />For you young people who are struggling, keep that in mind. Explore yourself, try a lot of different things, meet a lot of people. Don't get mired, don't get frustrated. Keep pushing yourself. Use all your opportunities and avenues. When you're young, it may not feel like it, but you have a lot of potential, opportunity, and energy. Take advantage of that.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-52499032912916282442013-09-12T11:15:00.003-07:002013-09-12T11:15:34.734-07:00Keeping Relationships Passionate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/tSyDK6-oG8w?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Part 1, about keeping relationships from getting boring and complacent.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ajzXXapZhXg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Part 2, <span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="Here's part 2 where I talk about how to keep women attracted to you in a relationship and hot to keep things exciting.
">where I talk about how to keep women attracted to you in a relationship and how to keep things exciting. Part 3 coming soon.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-46442786026790379302013-09-12T11:12:00.002-07:002013-09-12T11:12:33.666-07:00Compliment her on more than looks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/L257AaCVG3U?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="How to compliment women on something beyond just their looks, and other tips to make her feel better connected with you.
">How to compliment women on something beyond just their looks, and other tips to make her feel better connected with you.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-74607462986808454912013-09-12T11:11:00.003-07:002013-09-12T11:11:21.473-07:00Don't lose women by being needy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/UThISew8uiU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="Some lessons I learned from a girlfriend about how neediness kills attraction.
">Some lessons I learned from a girlfriend about how neediness kills attraction.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-82182677149524879812013-09-12T11:10:00.006-07:002013-09-12T11:10:47.173-07:00How to gauge her attraction for you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/YIMGyKshMDs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="If you're getting frustrated approaching women who don't seem interested in you, here's some advice on how to look for signs that she's attracted to you, and how to capitalize on that.
">If you're getting frustrated
approaching women who don't seem interested in you, here's some advice
on how to look for signs that she's attracted to you, and how to
capitalize on that.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-77858956387193836382013-09-12T11:10:00.001-07:002013-09-12T11:10:09.718-07:00Don't break tension<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/gD3nNhatcjs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="How to create and maintain tension. Tension is one key to building attraction.
">How to create and maintain tension. Tension is one key to building attraction.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-82796542854929410922013-09-12T11:09:00.003-07:002013-09-12T11:09:44.304-07:00Get appreciation by showing appreciation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ex37JmJ936Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="yt-ui-ellipsis-wrapper" data-original-html="What to do when you feel like someone doesn't "get" you.
">What to do when you feel like someone doesn't "get" you.
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-37780925856554199772013-09-12T11:07:00.004-07:002013-09-12T11:07:52.096-07:00Make her feel special<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/NnI2k0-x2RY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Make a woman feel special when she's with you and she'll keep coming back!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3912215190697363731.post-23731677146869482532013-09-12T11:06:00.006-07:002013-09-12T11:06:57.370-07:00Go for the kiss!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/n4ECNel8_CE/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/n4ECNel8_CE?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/n4ECNel8_CE?version=3&f=user_uploads&c=google-webdrive-0&app=youtube_gdata" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
Lessons I got after talking to my friend who went on a date with a guy who simply would not kiss her!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09223868126648650929noreply@blogger.com0