For young people struggling to find their mission

Today's video is aimed towards young people who aren't feeling entirely fulfilled in their lives. These could be guys who have just gotten out of college and aren't sure what direction their lives are going. These could be people who are struggling to find some sort of career or direction or they're living with their parents. These could be folks who are still in college and aren't sure what's going to happen afterwards. Basically any one of you who is at a transitional point of your life. You're not really sure where youre life is going to go and you're struggling to find purpose and fulfillment in your life.

I know usually I talk about relationships and how to meet women, but I think it's important to talk about the reasons why guys pursue skills in meeting women. Often times it's because they're not feeling entirely fulfilled in their lives, and they feel that meeting women will give them a purpose and direction. It gives them attention and validation and helps them ignore the fact that they're not entirely fulfilled in their lives. But spending time with women, having sex , going out drinking with your friends: It's fun, but at the end of the day you'll still feel that there's something lacking. So that in itself is not the solution.

While you're still trying to figure out what your career might be, there's a lot of other ways to give yourself meaning in your life. What you need is a MISSION. Most people think the mission in life is their job and their family, but that's very basic and not even what we're all necessarily looking for. A mission is what gives you meaning, what you find important, what you give back to the world, your purpose in life. Most of us go to school, go to college, get a job, get a family, and we just go through what we're raised to believe is our function in life. We never really analyze it. We never think about what we want for ourselves.
If you're in that transitional period, where you're not sure where your life's going to go, you may be feeling unsatisfied with your life. You're thinking once I get that job or meet that special person, everything will be fine. But that's not necessarily the case, and who knows how long that will take. A mission can be a hobby: Maybe you enjoy creating art or music (I do photography) and you put out something that brings joy to other people. That can be a valuable mission; it's valuable for me.

A mission can be teaching. I'm a volunteer martial arts instructor; I've been doing that for over ten years. That gives me a great deal of fulfillment, and in terms of validation it gives me a large group of people who respect and appreciation me. It helps me feel fulfilled. For example if I meet women, since I have a large group of people who give me that validation, I don't require it from the women I meet. That's an important fact. If you're pursuing women because you don't have any real goals in life and you feel the woman will fill that void, it will put a lot of strain on the relationship. When you have that many expectations of one person, they're going to feel it. It's going to put a lot of strain because you expect all these things, you expect all your attention and validation to come from this one person. Everything you do is going to be wrapped up in this one person, and that's a quick recipe for a relationship that goes down hill. There'll be a lot of jealousy, resentment, and anger.

If you have a mission in life, a purpose, hobbies, friends, a community and you meet someone, you bring them into your life: a life that's already fulfilling. The way to do that is to start exploring yourself. When you're just out of college, or still in school, or living with your parents, or working a part time job, you have free time to explore yourself. Don't waste it watching TV or play video games and wishing something will fall in your lap. Instead, try different things, try everything. Try learning an instrument, try taking a class, try joining a group. Explore your community and surroundings. Reach out to everyone you know and see what they're involved in.

Your mission in life isn't just your job or person who lives in your house. Your purpose can be anything, but the only way you're going to find it is by exploring yourself, really examining yourself, and trying a lot of different things. Some of the things you try you won't be into. That's OK. You're going to expand yourself and develop a lot of new skills. You'll discover what's valuable for you. The point is that even if you're struggling to find a job or career, that doesn't mean you can't use your energy to explore a lot of different paths and avenues. Who knows, one of those hobbies or interests might turn into a career in the future. But even if it doesn't, it'll still give you a lot of fulfillment and purpose. Then when you meet people, women, you'll be able to bring them into an exciting life. You'll be an interesting person, you'll have a lot of motivations, you'll have a lot of purpose, you'll have a mission in life. That's attractive.  That makes people want to be in your life, rather than being desperate and looking for somebody to fill a gap inside of you. You'll be bringing them to a rich fulfilling life, and that will bring them joy and bring you joy.

For you young people who are struggling, keep that in mind. Explore yourself, try a lot of different things, meet a lot of people. Don't get mired, don't get frustrated. Keep pushing yourself. Use all your opportunities and avenues. When you're young, it may not feel like it, but you have a lot of potential, opportunity, and energy. Take advantage of that.