Live for Yourself

Note: The text below were my notes for the video, but I talk about some more stuff towards the end of the video.

Hi guys. I hope your holidays were super fun and joyful! Mine were quiet and lazy, just the way I like them.

The title of this video is "Live for Yourself". Before I get going, I want to point out that I'm not talking about being selfish or self-centered. I like being generous, and I love making others happy. However I couldn't do that until I became a joyful person myself. And that's the essence of what I want to talk about. You have strive to make yourself a happy person before you can make others happy. You have to provide for yourself before you can provide for others.

The holidays are a convenient example. I saw a lot of people running around worrying about getting their "shopping" done on time. They were concerned about not getting gifts for all of the people in their lives. I realize that some people enjoy giving gifts, but most of the time when I hear about it, it sounds like a chore: Something they HAVE to do. And if they don't do it, they lose social status. So it's not about giving joy so much as meeting expectations.

I don't participate in any of that. I like giving gifts, but only when I choose to. I prefer to give to people in meaningful ways. I do that by making my life as fulfilling as possible for me, and then making others a part of it. I pursue things that are fun and meaningful to me and invite others to participate in those things. People spend time with me because I enrich them and I make them feel good.  They don't get mad when I don't get them stuff, because they don't have that kind of expectation from me.

Some people feel like in order to meet people, they have to offer something. That might mean buying drinks or gifts. It might mean showing off your financial status with the suggestion that you would spend money on them in exchange for their affection. In Western Society, it's pretty much accepted that a man has to buy a woman chocolate, jewelry, perfume, etc. on her birthday, Valentines day, Christmas, and so on. Your value to a potential mate is reduced to how much you're willing to spend on her. Expressing "love" to a person means buying them something.

If you subscribe to that notion though, you will live a life of expectations. That means either you'll meet an expectation, or you disappoint a person. You're not creating joy. You're just trying to avoid anger and resentment. And you rarely experience real happiness. That happiness comes from expressing yourself and your humanity. It comes from enriching your soul. It comes from trying new things, and learning, and doing the things you love and being with people who appreciate you and living life to the fullest.

Before you start bringing other people into your life, you have to make yourself a person who is worth spending time with (beyond your wallet). Be someone who is fun and fascinating. Do that by discovering things that genuinely excite you. Make your own life joyful, and then others will want to be a part of it. Instead of chasing after people and trying to trick them or convince them to spend time with you, THEY will instead make the effort to be with YOU. You are a person who is worthy of love and happiness. Accept that. Make it true.

I hope you have a lovely New Years. Mine is going to be full of fun and adventure. Till next year!

Kino: Touching Women

Kino is short for Kinesthetic Method, which is a style of seduction - or "game" - which focuses on building a woman's attraction for you via touch. For those in the seduction community, this should be familiar to you. Kino is also used a verb to mean touching women for the purpose of making them attracted and horny for you.

A lot of guys when they first start learning to talk to women focus on what to SAY. They learn various stories and bits and "routines" that are supposed to make the guy seem more interesting and worth fucking. However, if all you do is TALK to women, then there is often little tension. Tension is what gets women excited about you. And your ability to remain emotionally balanced in the face of that tension is what makes women attracted to you. A man who is in control of his emotions, especially when there is tension, in this case social tension, is attractive. Kino is one way of creating that tension, while also making a woman horny for you, so that she will want to sleep with you. And for the Feminists out there I apologize, but the point of my videos is to help guys get laid. Building a lasting relationship comes afterwards.

I used to be a really cocky guy... maybe I still am a bit.... but it used to be over the top. I had a style of arrogant humor, "Cocky Funny" as it's called in the community. These days though I'm nice and affectionate towards women. So what makes me different from your average guy who's nice? That difference is KINO. I touch women. I do so comfortably and confidently. From the first moment I approach a woman, I start touching her. This demonstrates to them that I'm a confident and SEXUAL guy. The way I touch them is the way a boyfriend would touch them. It makes them feel comfortable being with me while simultaneously creating sexy tension.

For guys who are new to this, the idea of touching a woman they don't know can be terrifying. But there are lots of socially acceptable way to touch a woman that won't turn on a warning bell. And from there once you've established a connection you can continue to escalate your Kino. When you first meet a woman, you can introduce yourself with a handshake, letting your hand linger for an extra couple seconds. If it's across a table or something you can do a fist bump, like "yo". If you're in a noisy and crowded place, you can gently place your hand on her back or arm like you don't want to "accidentally" run into her. If you do this, make sure to have a big smile on your face. You don't want to be the creepy stone-faced guy rubbing up on chicks.

Noisy environments are actually good. Maybe you can't hear each other too well, but that's OK. Your Kino is doing all the work. You're close to each other, arms and shoulders brushing. You're talking into her ear, your breath on her neck. It's very hot. The words exchanged are largely irrelevant. Just touch her with a smile on your face, then when you feel a spark, you can move her to a quieter location to get to know each other better. And just in any situation you're in, you can touch a woman to accentuate what you're saying. For example you can compliment her clothing and then touch her sleeve, and then leave your hand lingering on her wrist. Then once she has grown more comfortable with you, you can put your arm around her or hold her hand. Do this incognito so she's not as worried about what her friends might be thinking.

Once you've established a rapport with her, you can get closer, touch her more, and get a more intimate. If that's a topic you're interested in, just post a comment and I'll make a video for it in the near future.

Everyone is Lonely

We've all felt lonely in our lives. Some of us more often than others. We've all felt like people don't really "get" us. We've all felt frustrated because we thought, "if only this person knew where I was coming from, they'd understand..." This is accentuated in relationships, because when you're close to someone, you have an expectations that they should be able to appreciate you, the "real you". But the fact is they're not in your head, so they have no way of knowing how you think and feel at all times.

If you recognize this fact, that everyone feels like this - lonely - and not just you, then you can learn to appreciate them a little more. The reason they don't "get you" is not because they're trying to hurt you. It's just because they don't KNOW you. And likewise you don't really know them. But you can act in a way that says, "listen, I don't really understand, but I'll accept that your thoughts and feeligs make sense to you." That's called humility.

Some people think being humble means being "nice" all the time, putting other's feelings before your own. That's not it, if you constantly put others before you, you will eventually resent them, which is worse down the road. Because not only do they not get you now, but they don't see what you've done for them. They just think you're being yourself and they don't see the "sacrifice" you've made.

Being humble means listening to and appreciating what a person says or does, even if it's not something that you would say or do in the same situation. You have to have boundaries of course. You have to have a line that they can't cross. But for me, there's very few things a person could say or do that would really hurt me. So short of that, I'm willing to listen. If they're angry, they probably feel justified for that anger. If they're yelling, maybe that's just the only way they've ever been able to get someone to listen to them.

Don't judge people. They will judge you, but that doesn't matter. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard. If you want people to make the effort to know and appreciate you, then you have to start by offering that to them first. And that includes forming sexual relationships. You can't just demand sex and affection from a person because it's what you want. However, if you recognize that they need affection, sex, attention as much as you do and you offer that to them without demand or expectation, then you will both benefit.

How to Avoid Drama in Relationships

After taking a little hiatus from making videos, here's one about how to minimize drama in your relationships with women. Leave comments and let me know what other topics you'd like to hear about!