Everyone is Lonely

We've all felt lonely in our lives. Some of us more often than others. We've all felt like people don't really "get" us. We've all felt frustrated because we thought, "if only this person knew where I was coming from, they'd understand..." This is accentuated in relationships, because when you're close to someone, you have an expectations that they should be able to appreciate you, the "real you". But the fact is they're not in your head, so they have no way of knowing how you think and feel at all times.

If you recognize this fact, that everyone feels like this - lonely - and not just you, then you can learn to appreciate them a little more. The reason they don't "get you" is not because they're trying to hurt you. It's just because they don't KNOW you. And likewise you don't really know them. But you can act in a way that says, "listen, I don't really understand, but I'll accept that your thoughts and feeligs make sense to you." That's called humility.

Some people think being humble means being "nice" all the time, putting other's feelings before your own. That's not it, if you constantly put others before you, you will eventually resent them, which is worse down the road. Because not only do they not get you now, but they don't see what you've done for them. They just think you're being yourself and they don't see the "sacrifice" you've made.

Being humble means listening to and appreciating what a person says or does, even if it's not something that you would say or do in the same situation. You have to have boundaries of course. You have to have a line that they can't cross. But for me, there's very few things a person could say or do that would really hurt me. So short of that, I'm willing to listen. If they're angry, they probably feel justified for that anger. If they're yelling, maybe that's just the only way they've ever been able to get someone to listen to them.

Don't judge people. They will judge you, but that doesn't matter. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard. If you want people to make the effort to know and appreciate you, then you have to start by offering that to them first. And that includes forming sexual relationships. You can't just demand sex and affection from a person because it's what you want. However, if you recognize that they need affection, sex, attention as much as you do and you offer that to them without demand or expectation, then you will both benefit.